You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
