he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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