I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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