Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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