Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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