Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Go christen that room with your naked body.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
