ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
