so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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