he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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