Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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