This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
