I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
