this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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