Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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