You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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