I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
