Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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