who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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