plz talk dirty to me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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