This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
