im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
