the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
