he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
