What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's just like the Real World with babies
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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