so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
