Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
