Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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