I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
