forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
