Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
