She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
