So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
