awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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