READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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