"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
