It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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