I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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