In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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