im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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