I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.