Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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