Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.