I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
