I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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