I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
