I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
