D3 body, D1 cock
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
