ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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