We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
