Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
