sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
