This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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