He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
