Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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