Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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