I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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