I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
