capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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