We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
