Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
