Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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