idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
